I know I might be the minority, but I’m pretty stoked on this whole period thing.
I have two beautiful daughters and it was wonderful to grow them, knowing I was building someone with my body which was actualized when I would feel them kick. But, to tell you the truth … I’m so done being pregnant. What can I say? Pregnancy is just not for me. I did it, and it was wonderful, but I like my personal space and growing a human takes a lot of energy. I was tired. I was hungry. I had to pee. all. the. time. Now I’m a mom and I have these little mini people, and they’re awesome. But that monthly reminder I get that I’m not pregnant is the best news I get all month. I know I’m a better mom with a smaller family. I know I can give each of my kids the attention they want and deserve. Whereas, if I had another baby, I’m fairly certain I’d neglect the older ones just so I could nap. I know that plenty of families are larger and it works for them, but it’s just not for me and mine.
So when I see that red hot mess, I literally do a little happy dance. Seriously! It’s a celebration. I know in some cultures there is a mourning for a lost child that never was, and I know it can be a disappointing feeling if you’re trying to conceive. But like I said, I don’t want to make any more humans. So, for me, it’s a happy experience. And even if I change my mind and do want more kids later, it’s comforting to know that option is still there. After my first daughter I went 9 months without menstruating and it was super disorienting. I never knew when to expect it back, and that was weird when we were trying not to get pregnant again.
Perhaps this is where I should add that we don’t use any form of conventional birth control. We don’t love hormone manipulation {so no pills or rings for me – I had so many bad reactions: migraines, weight gain, that whole nightmare} and my lady bits are sensitive to other contraptions. So, we just chart. Meaning, I know exactly when I’m ovulating and when I’m expecting my cycle. Charting, for those that don’t know, is literally just keeping track of bodily changes on a calendar so we know our fertility cycle {I have an app on my phone}. It’s actually pretty easy to keep track of my regular cycle, and once I figured out what to look for, I KNEW we should avoid certain activities. But you can understand the significance of my monthly visitor even more, because we don’t have any guarantees besides some good statistics on our side. I know a few women who don’t want to birth babies at all and they feel the same way. Such a relief, because even with conventional birth control, nothing is 100% effective {except abstinence – or was that just a part of a certain high school class?}.
I’m curious though – it this outlook rare? Is it weird? Am I the only one who loves getting my period? Is anyone else relieved, excited, and happy that they are a hot mess for a few days just because they’re not growing a baby?
More importantly, how are we talking to our daughters about this? My oldest is five and I have a three year old as well. They’ve both seen me in the bathroom and have asked what all that blood is from. I told them the truth: women have blood to keep babies safe in their uterus {yes they know what a uterus is- in theory} and “when mommy doesn’t have a baby in her body it comes out to make room for new blood.” My five year old understands this. It’s not weird or scary, it’s just mommy being not pregnant.
When I was maybe 10 years old, we had a body development class in school; they talked about menstruating, and it sounded so terrible. I decided then and there I wanted to be pregnant every nine months just so I wouldn’t have to bleed. {Turns out they left out the part about birthing a baby being slightly painful and full of blood in it’s own right. Seriously, we can’t escape it! We might as well embrace it!}. But really, I thought getting my period and having to use a terrifying tampon that could literally kill me sounded pretty scary. Now I know this actually isn’t bad at all, with cups and thinx {no this isn’t sponsored, though perhaps it should be?}. It’s actually not that much of an inconvenience as I was led to believe. I think it’s worth celebrating and explaining to our daughters. I think it’s both special, completely normal, and a part of life. I hope I’ve done a good job explaining it to my daughter(s). And I hope that as they get older they have enough awareness of their own bodies to know when they are ovulating and expecting their monthly cycle. I hope they’re aware enough of their bodies that they can choose to try to make a human when they’re ready and can avoid it if/when they’re not. I think the dialog about periods, bleeding, menstruating, flowing, and all those other terms need to be celebrated; not only for us as women with this monthly experience, but also for our daughters – the soon to be women who will also be experiencing the cycles of life.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on my period. What are yours?
LOVE THIS! That feeling of “relief” when my lady time comes around is amazing!!! I can relate to this on so many levels. I am also not on any conventional form of BC and literally sweat bullets when it doesn’t start the morning I am expecting it. I too don’t want any more humans. I was fine with one and then 7 years later, here I am starting all over with #2. I was “One and Done” but it turns out, I’m now “Two and Through”!!!
I love my cycles!
Bleeding helps me to feel my connection with the heaven and earth. Makes me feel like an animal. Alive. Real. A force of nature.
When I bleed I physically feel so much better! I feel lighter, less pressure. Relieved!
I hope that I bleed for many years to come.
Well said! It’s not until after I had my baby that I appreciate bleeding each month. I feel so much more in tune with myself now. It was such an inconvenience before but now I realize what a blessing it is. It is cleansing and I am grateful for it. And when you’re not planning for more babies just yet but don’t like messing with your hormones and taking pills, it is definitely a reassuring thing to see!