I’ve got a fever and the only prescription is another baby. It’s true, I have a terrible case of baby fever. I’ve watched so many of my friends have babies in the last couple of years. These children are gorgeous and chubby and the new ones smell like sugar cookies. My friends tease me about being a baby hog because I love to hold them and smell them. I have sat back and watched them all with quiet longing.
I see posts all over Instagram with adorable babies wearing handmade outfits or twinning with their parents. My recent Facebook memories have been full of milestones from the baby years that are really pulling on my heart strings. I miss the magic of having a tiny person in the house.
So, I opened up the “Do you ever want another baby?” discussion as a result of this recent baby fever. My husband told me that I can have as many children as I’d like…with someone else. Once we stopped cracking up, we talked about what that might look like for us. We’re a lot older and wiser than when we had our kids. We are more settled financially. I am no longer fumbling my way through a new career change. Our older kids are becoming more and more self sufficient all the time. We make some damn fine humans, if I do say so myself, so our reasons made a lot of sense to me.
But…here’s the thing. The reasons that make me think about wanting another baby are the same reasons I began to question our logic.
Yes, we’re a lot older and wiser than when we had our first children but the key word here is OLDER. I am tired every single day of my life for no reason whatsoever. I used to go out at 10pm and now if anyone expects me to stay out past 10pm, I require a disco nap. I see my friends (the same friends with the gorgeous, chubby, cookie-smelling babes) struggle through sleep training, tummy troubles and teething and I think to myself, “I’m so glad I’m not in that phase anymore.”
Yes, we are more settled financially but that’s due to the fact that we don’t have two babies in daycare anymore and I am able to hustle like mad during the hours my kids are in school. The money that we’d be spending on daycare is being spent on travel with our, now older, kids. Am I willing to make that trade off again?
Lastly, yes, our older children are getting more self sufficient all the time. That means I wouldn’t be nearly as stressed because they can meet a lot of their own needs and I could focus more on the baby. What am I even saying!? My older children can meet a lot of their own needs! When I leave the house, I don’t have to bring strollers or bottles or extra clothes or blankies – I just grab a purse and say, “Get a jacket, if you need one.” I am a few years away from being able to run a quick errand and not having to take them with me. I can see the Promised Land!
Once I took some time and really thought about things, I realized that I didn’t want to have any more kids. I felt like I was betraying all womankind by saying that out loud, like I was a traitor to mothers everywhere. I love babies, how could I shut down the baby fever and the idea of having another one?
The truth is, my kids are getting the best possible version of me right now and I don’t want them to have to share me with anyone else. I am more together than I’ve ever been and our family dynamic feels great the way it is. So, I’ll keep trolling Instagram and smelling my friends’ babies for now until I can kick this fever. If nothing else, I can always try more cowbell.