When Your Parenting Style is Revealed in a Happy Hour Drink


At a recent North Phoenix Moms Blog happy hour, we gathered together to celebrate motherhood and the blog.  While we were there I noticed nearly every mama ordered a different happy hour drink. The drink orders sparked a lively icebreaker discussion: What’s your favorite/go-to cocktail? The result of my not-so-scientific poll yielded some interesting results, so we decided to take it a step further. What kind of mom orders what kind of happy hour drink? Here’s our unofficial guide.


Red wine: This mama is sensible and always socially appropriate (i.e., doesn’t curse in public or shout at coaches during 1st-grade basketball games). She looks at all the facts, determines the scenario and crowd sources before making her choice. If it’s not listed in Consumer Reports, it’s not up for consideration.

White wine: Also sensible, also making the “appropriate” choice, this mom is a little more chill than the red wine mom. Her internet search history consists of queries like: “best car seat,” “what does croup sound like?” and “average time moms breastfeed.” Her bookshelf boasts a wide selection of books like “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” and “The Parents Answer Book.

Bourbon: This mama knows what she likes and isn’t afraid to go for it. Don’t bother arguing with her on whether or not to vaccinate/get rid of GMOs/eschew public schools. She’s already made her decision, and there’s no changing her mind.

Malibu (or any coconut rum) and pineapple juice: This mom is channeling her college days by recreating her college days with this more adult version of the Piña Colada. She probably has 3+ kids, so the trip down memory lane is due. Shhh … don’t bother her; she’s imagining she’s on a beach in Puerto Rico.

Vodka and cranberry: Goes for a safe and straightforward choice. I mean, no one can mess up a vodka/cranberry. She uses GreatSchools.com to determine the best neighborhood school and needs at least 3 recommendations for a doctor before deciding to take her children there.

Tequila (my drink of choice): This mama knows what she wants and would prefer to get straight to the point (especially if she drinks it on the rocks). She’s the life of the party and listens to Kidz Bop 32 on repeat at top volume, even when the kids aren’t in the car.

Beer: She’s easygoing and can adapt to nearly any situation. She’s the one you want running point when the kids get sick in the car or when you’re at the theme park and realize you’re out of diapers. If she’s only into craft beers, same thing, except you can expect all of her solutions to be organic or homemade.

Diet Coke: She’s the designated driver. Be sure to invite her to all the parties. She’s also the go-to person for when you run out of the house without your diaper bag and need a change of clothes/diapers/wipes/cash/mints/socks. And somehow, she manages to keep all of that handy without her car looking like it could be in an episode of Hoarders.

So what’s your happy hour drink of choice? Do these drinks describe you and/or your mom friends or are my (super unscientific) observations off base? Let us know in the comments!



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