Turning 40, Conquering Social Anxiety, and Finding My Mom Tribe

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As I turn 40, I’ve been reflecting on the path that led me to where I am now—a mom of 3, including a set of twins, a woman who’s faced her share of challenges, and someone who’s learned to navigate the tricky waters of social anxiety and imposter syndrome. One of the biggest catalysts for my growth? Joining Phoenix Valley Mothers of Multiples (PVMOM), an organization that’s been a pillar of support for moms like me for 40 years.

This post isn’t just about my story; it’s about how finding a mom tribe can make a world of difference for any mom struggling with self-doubt, anxiety, or just the everyday chaos of motherhood.

Social Anxiety: My Internal Struggle

For the longest time, social anxiety was like a shadow I couldn’t shake. Whether it was at a playdate, a mom group, or even around other parents at school, I’d constantly feel like I wasn’t good enough. I would judge myself harshly—thinking I wasn’t smart enough, organized enough, or doing enough for my kids. It was as if everyone was watching and judging me, though, in reality, the harshest critic was always myself.

This internal dialogue made it hard to connect with other moms, even though deep down I craved that sense of community. I wanted to be part of something, to share experiences, to laugh or cry about sleepless nights and tantrums, but I didn’t know how to push through that anxiety to get there.

How PVMOM Changed Everything

When I finally joined PVMOM, I was hesitant, to say the least. The idea of walking into a room full of strangers was overwhelming. But the community I found there was unlike anything I had expected. The moms were warm, welcoming, and completely nonjudgmental. Many of them were dealing with the same struggles I was, and that shared understanding helped me feel safe.

Over time, attending PVMOM events helped me slowly chip away at my anxiety. Instead of feeling judged, I felt supported. Instead of feeling like I had to have it all together, I found comfort in the fact that none of us really did, and that was perfectly okay.

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome—feeling like I wasn’t truly worthy or qualified, even in motherhood—was another challenge I faced. I questioned myself constantly: “Am I doing this right? Why would anyone listen to me? Do I even belong here?”

But as I got more involved with PVMOM, even stepping into a role on the board, I started to realize that my experiences, ideas, and voice were valuable. I didn’t have to be a “perfect” mom (whatever that means). I just had to be me. Being part of an organization that’s been empowering moms for 40 years, and contributing in my own way, gave me the confidence to embrace who I am—flaws and all.

Tips for Moms Struggling with Social Anxiety and Imposter Syndrome

Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way that might help other moms who are feeling the weight of social anxiety or imposter syndrome:

  1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: The first step is recognizing and naming what you’re feeling. Whether it’s anxiety, self-doubt, or fear of judgment, acknowledging it allows you to confront it head-on.
  2. Find Your Tribe: Whether it’s a formal group like PVMOM or a small circle of mom friends, having a community makes a huge difference. Surround yourself with people who understand your journey and lift you up.
  3. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Every time you catch yourself thinking, “I’m not good enough” or “Everyone’s judging me,” pause and challenge that thought. Ask yourself: Is this true? Often, we’re our own worst critics.
  4. Take Small Steps: You don’t have to dive into a big social event right away. Start small—attend a casual meet-up or connect with one or two other moms. Over time, your confidence will grow.
  5. Celebrate Your Wins: Motherhood is hard, and we all have those days when we feel like we’re failing. But remember to celebrate the little victories. Whether it’s getting through a tantrum with patience or simply making it through the day, those wins count!
  6. Let Go of Perfection: None of us are perfect, and that’s the beauty of motherhood. Embrace the chaos, the mess, and the imperfection. It’s in those moments that real growth happens.

How PVMOM Helped Me Find My Confidence

PVMOM wasn’t just a group I joined—it became my lifeline. Being a part of this organization has helped me find my confidence, let go of the need to be perfect, and embrace the wonderful chaos of motherhood. The support I found here has been invaluable, and I’ve even been able to give back by serving on the board—a role that would have terrified me just a few years ago.

Now, as I turn 40, I’m reflecting on how far I’ve come, not just as a mom, but as a woman who’s learned to face her fears and grow in ways I never thought possible.

Share Your Postpartum or Mom Tribe Story (and a Giveaway!)

I know every mom’s journey is different, and I’d love to hear yours! What helped you through the postpartum period? Did you find strength in a mom tribe or a community? Let’s share our stories and encourage one another.

And to celebrate this milestone in my life, I’m doing a giveaway! I’ll be giving away a copy of my book, ABC D is Ability, which is all about embracing diversity and abilities. To enter, share your story in the comments, and you’ll be entered for a chance to win.

Here’s to 40 years of life, 40 years of PVMOM, and many more years of connection, growth, and empowerment!

2 COMMENTS

  1. TASSIA, wow. Blown away by your strength and bravery in sharing this with all the moms out there who need to hear this…..I know I sure needed to hear your message. Thank you for stepping out and sharing your struggles and advice that you’ve learned along the way. Challenging negative thoughts and celebrating the wins, even though they might feel small really spoke to me. Grateful to you for sharing

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