When you become a mom, your whole world changes. Your days are filled with doing things that are best for your family, and your child, versus what is best for you. Your late evenings become early mornings; any time away from your kids becomes so hard, as you long to hold them again even if you were only gone for a few hours. Above everything, the “thing” I now value the most is TIME.
Am I spending my limited time in the right areas? Am I doing things that help fill my cup, my children’s cups, or the cups of others? When I am asked to commit to something, I really take the time to think it over, discuss it with my husband, and make sure it is the best “yes” I have to offer. If not, then I respectfully decline. It’s hard. I have had friendships fail, have missed job opportunities, and have disappointed several people by saying “no.” But on the other hand, I see the value of a “yes,” and what it does in my life, when it is the BEST yes I can give. When it comes to giving time, I look at these simple components, to see if it is worth a “yes” or a “no.”
- Does it Benefit Someone? – Am I helping a friend in need? Will this play date help my daughter meet a new friend? I think taking time for someone, or something, should serve a benefit. Leaving fulfilled is important to me, and often times I feel happiest when I know I gave time to someone else in need.
- Will it Affect your Family Negatively? – I was invited to join an amazing bible study earlier this year. I was SO excited for it, but when it came down to the logistics, it just wasn’t realistic. I was still nursing my son who was not quite going to sleep on his own. The weekly evening commitment would have put a lot of stress on my son, and my husband, so I had to let it pass.
- Do you Value The Relationship? – Some friends I see weekly. Others? Maybe quarterly, and several I just don’t see at all anymore. I seem to surround myself with other friends that raise their children similar to me, have the same beliefs as me, and with people who I value the friendship. I really cut out the people in my life that drained me, and those that brought more stress than joy in my life.
Value your time, and really help ensure that your “yes” is the best yes you can give! From birthday parties to happy hour dates with friends, answer with intention, and not just to be responsive. And when it comes to making a decision that might be challenging, because you want to, but it might not be the best choice for your family, I always fall back on this amazing quote:
You may have to shelve some dreams for a season. You’re a person with ambition and drive and dreams and plans. You were created with unique gifts and talents that don’t disappear just because you’re a mom. But not all of it has to happen right this moment. You’re doing the toughest jobs on the planet. Hands down. You’re raising a person. You’re molding a whole new human. Remember, there’s a time for everything.”