Looking back upon my first year as a mama, I remember so eagerly anticipating those major milestone events…..first time rolling over, first words, first steps….you know, the ones you obsess over, compare with your fellow mamas, making sure your child is “on track”. Sure enough, those milestones come and go. Sometimes with a tear or two from mama , but always with joy and sheer amazement at the achievements of your little love. The toddler years are super fun too….not as much stressing over the milestones and more time to play, be silly, and watch them change before your eyes. It really is a magical time of parenthood.
And then comes THE DAY that many of us have had such mixed emotions over. It is the first day of Kindergarten. A day that marks the beginning of a journey that will take years to complete. A journey that we as parents, took ourselves and that it is our duty to walk beside our children on as they discover the world for themselves. It is more than a new school, a new friends and a new backpack. It is more than the grades they will receive on their first report card and the subjects which will challenge them to grow. For us as parents, it is about the first real time we have had to “let go” just a little bit. While some have sent their kiddos to pre-school, childcare, or other outlets before, this is the big one. The first “official” day of “Big Kid-dom”.
Personally, I am completely conflicted with my emotions about the day that is now less than 2 weeks away…yikes, I think I have been in denial. My little girl is beyond ready to go. I think she has asked me no less than 73 times this summer, “When is the first day of Kindergarten?” Each time, my answer is the same….”It will be here soon enough my love.” I am genuinely thrilled for her and so very excited to see what the future has in store for this tiny human. But I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t crying a little inside. Sure, she has gone to preschool 2 days a week in the past, but I always had those other 3 days each week with her all to myself (and her little brother of course). Now, I will turn her over to her teacher each and every day, having complete faith that they are respecting her, challenging her, and caring for her at the level that she so deserves. Luckily, I have no reservations about the school system she is entering here in our area of the Valley. I know she will be fine, in fact, I am confident that she will thrive….but still, my home will feel just a little bit empty starting on August 7th….her little light shining in the classroom rather than in my living room.
Now, don’t get me wrong, with her in Kinder every day and my little dude in preschool 2 days a week, I am looking forward to a little time for “me” as well. Once again, redefining my role in the family….but that could be a whole separate novel couldn’t it? So, for her, the little lady that made me a mama in the first place, I will put on my big girl yoga pants and some flip flops and walk proudly beside her all the way to that Kindergarten classroom on August 7th. I vow to try not to cry as she gives me a peck on the cheek, hugs me tight to assure me she will be fine, and runs eagerly to her assigned seat waving to her Pre-K friends along the way….and then, I will turn and head back down the hall, biting my lip as I turn the proverbial page, and start to write the next chapter of parenthood.
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