Super Bowl Guide… for Moms Who Hate Football


The Super Bowl is just around the corner and I’m so excited to be hosting a Super Bowl Party… said me, never. I think there are only three things I hate in life (in no order of importance):

  • war
  • famine (this also encompasses parties without enough food, btw)
  • football

But, being that I’m the hostess with the most-est, everyone is expecting me to host a Super Bowl Party at our house.  So you can consider this my official ‘Haters Gonna Hate Guide to the Super Bowl.’

Stadium Seating

The thing that makes hosting the party at my house worth it is that it’s my house. I like my house. I can wear yoga pants and no one lies to me and tells me that they’re not real pants. I can even sneak into my room and take a nap if I wanted to. If you have enough alcohol for everyone, nobody notices.

If I have to go to some co-worker’s house or (God forbid) a friend-of-a-friend’s place, I might have to actually pretend to care about the game. It’s e x h a u s t i n g to sit in the same room as everyone, and the TV, and the game. Then, worse yet, watch it. So, hosting is actually a huge benefit to my antisocial norms because I can hide, or take a bath, or hide while taking a bath if I get overwhelmed.


Just because I have a ‘pub room’ doesn’t mean I want everyone to come over and drink my handcrafted cocktails and eat all of my home cooked food. Just kidding, that’s exactly what it means. I enjoy having people over and hosting events. But in this case, it requires that the food be tiny football shaped appetizers and the drinks have clever (team?) names. I’ll accept that challenge.

*Googles football team names frantically*

I’ll also be making Mac ‘n’ Cheese Muffins and Individual Seven Layer Dip. Plus, Super Bowl is kind of an American Christmas in February, so this is as good an excuse as any to make mini chicken and waffle sliders right?

If you want to go full hostess, you could commit to one of these appetizer stadiums. Seriously, step your game up. (*Sarcasm* – Just get some pretty serving dishes and then it’s a …touchdown goal thingy).


Icing the Kicker

I think I’ll enlist my other haters to help me bake and decorate some cupcakes while everyone else is busy watching another terrible beer commercial. Oh, and because chocolate + strawberries can be disguised as football enthusiastic dessert? Yeah, I’m going to make those (and these, these, and this except mine will be a chocolate peanut butter football cake. )


Only a rookie would assume the game itself is the entertainment. Oh, you want 27 adults and 6 kids + a baby to sit in one room and stare at a TV for (gosh how long is the game) 26 hours?


Not happening.

I know better (you guys, I’m a great mom) and will be setting up a play area for the kids: ipad, kindle, electronics of some kind… to keep them distracted for 3.5 minutes before they come in asking someone to play with them. When the kindle no longer holds their attention, I’ll have (for the sake of the theme) a football craft of some kind at the ready, maybe this paper chain, these DIY penalty flags or this paper plate football bowl. I’ll even have prizes for this pin the football on the goal post activity. Totally handing out these adorable water bottles and whistles, because it’s my kids’ honor and privilege to be just as obnoxious as the football game itself. Kids love whistles. And it’s an excuse for me to send them out back to “play with that outside.”

As for the other football hating adults, we’ll probably plan our next wanderlust adventure. Which makes me wonder if Expedia will be having any Super Bowl sales? (Because, they should. Imagine all those wives, like “Hunnnnny, I’m booking that trip to the Bahamas!” He’s all “Yeah, babe. sounds good!” – You’re welcome.) And, because it’s not a party without a photobooth, I’ll probably be making these too. Or, take anti-Super Bowl advice from SheKnow, “Forget the football pool -make a few friendly bets of your own. Invite your anti-football guests to guess “Which football fan will get the drunkest?” Or, “Which will get the most upset if her team loses?”  Or, “Which company/product will have the best Super Bowl commercial?”

Sounds like a win to me.

Still need more inspiration?

A whole list of anti-Super Bowl appetizers available here. Style Me Pretty’s Anti Super Bowl Party looks so glamorous! I might actually be looking forward to all the festivities. More kids crafts and activities here.

What will you be doing for Super Bowl?  Will you be hosting a party?  Any great (anti) Super Bowl Party tips you want to share with us?



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