Self-Identity as Mothers

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A hot topic that I often see in articles and also find myself discussing with other moms revolves around the preservation of our self-identify as mothers. Self-identity is a word that carries a lot of weight. What exactly is self-identity? According to the dictionary, it is the recognition of one’s potential and qualities as an individual, especially in relation to social context. This often becomes complicated once motherhood enters a woman’s realm, because we now have this amazing new title attached to us…we are mothers. With that comes an evolved self-identity.

self-identity as mothersI never realized how easy it was to focus on myself during my years as a young adult. At the time I always thought I was busy. Reality was, I was busy…but in a drastically different way than I am now that I am a mother to two rambunctious boys. Early mornings used to start with a leisurely cup of coffee, a commute to work where I’d listen to the daily radio talk, and after work I would come home to cook a dinner and watch trash television. I would also squeeze in a work out and usually take my Labrador to the dog park or on a walk. There was a lot of time to do whatever I wanted, when I wanted. That was me three years ago. My self-identity has changed tremendously now that I have two little boys calling me “mama.”

Today I googled “what to do when a toddler eats play dough.” I frantically debated on calling poison control until my anxiety eased once I saw the words “nontoxic” on a full article that covered children eating play dough and when to be concerned. The words “just be sure they do not eat the entire container” is when I started laughing hysterically. I fell to the ground and literally giggled until a few tears streamed down my face. I thought to myself, this is what it has come to…I am researching what to do when my child tries a taste of Rose Red Play-doh. I have gone from leisure Starbucks runs and Bikini Body work outs to googling peculiar questions in regard to my children’s well-being. Who am I and where did old me go? Is this a normal feeling? Short answer, absolutely.

I firmly believe a human’s self-identity is endlessly evolving, depending on the season of life that a person is in. The “old me” didn’t disappear the day I became a mother. I just have different priorities at the top of my list during this season of life, in comparison to who I was three years ago. My qualities as an individual are a little different now that my priorities have changed. I am focused on raising wholesome human beings, but it is just as important to continue to preserve those qualities that make me who I am outside of motherhood. This might include gym memberships with childcare so that I can continue to work out. Some evenings I can let my husband take over dinnertime so that I can take our dog to the dog park. I can continue to pour into myself because it is crucial to keep my cup full in order to pour into my children’s cups as well.

This ever-fleeting season is something I know I will long for one day. Every mom in the history of moms tells me that raising children happens in the blink of an eye. I believe them, because the first two years of my boys’ lives have already flown right past me. My self-identity remains grounded in my qualities and core beliefs; however, I identify as “mama” before everything else right now. When the day comes again that I can watch trash television at my leisure and squeeze in a workout when I feel like it, I know I will miss the chaos of raising children. I am blessed to be able to research play dough and whether or not it is toxic. It is a privilege to identify as “mama.” My self-identity is still there, it has just changed for the better and has only become richer.

Keep calm and mom on.

XOXO,

Bri

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Brianna is a 20-something stay-at-home mama to twin boys, Liam and Noah, and a crazy yellow lab, Zoey. She is married to her high school sweetheart, Spencer. Although a piece of her heart will always lie within her Midwestern roots, her family currently resides in sunny (and prickly) Phoenix. Prior to spending her days in leggings and messy buns, she was a high school English teacher to some pretty awesome kiddos. Staying at home with her boys is one of her favorite seasons in life thus far and she is excited to share it with you! Aside from being a stay-at-home mama her passions include hiking, indulging in anything that contains chocolate, reading a good book, photography, interior design and organizing, drinking hot coffee with cream, and brunching. Sit back and relax, enjoy reading her triumphs mixed with the best days of motherhood. We are a tribe as moms and this is motherhood uncensored.

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