This idea of wholeness had been percolating for me in 2019. As we make our way deeper into 2020, I find that in order to act and reach goals from a place of wholeness, I must first clear the way.
Here’s the thing though: I tend to be quite ambitious and risk-tolerant by nature. With this comes fear, anxiety and self-doubt. Such a juxtaposition that it can be hard to hold space for both tendencies.
Through the study and practice of yogic texts, I have found that there are several layers of mind and thoughts. First there is the loud mind (the ambitions, the anxiety, the self-doubt). Then there is the quiet behind the mind.
Last year I spent the year shifting from deciding what I want, to envisioning how the desire feels. I came to the conclusion that what I want to feel is wholeness, connection to this quietness, as opposed to connection to the loud reactionary thoughts. This is my intention this year.
What is wholeness?
Often times my desires are coming from a place of seeking validation – a certification, a finished project, an end result. And while these are all important goals, my tendency has been to chase them with a feeling of emptiness, a feeling of lack. A feeling of ‘if I just have X, I will feel so much better.’
I’ve found that when I connect with the quietude behind the thoughts, I feel whole. The annoyances of family life are no longer annoying, they are just part of the color of life. I find I can be more present with my children and my husband with space to be able to manage conflicting emotions and thoughts. The irritations lessen (although, they certainly are not gone).
In the holistic health world, it is known that health is mind/body/spirit. Many of us resolve for health in the new year. It is said if we want to achieve health, we must be healthy internally first. In Ayurveda, or classical Indian medicine, it is said that ‘svastha’, the sanskrit word for health, means having an inner connection – a feeling of completeness. It is from this centering that we can make changes in our outer world. It is from here that we can rewrite trauma, habits, mental programming and make healthy choices in a more integrated, intrinsic manner.
How to find this wholeness, completeness?
Well, in a word, silence.
I hear you laughing. Phoenix is the 6th largest city in the US. We have children. How in the world should we expect to find silence in the midst of all of this noise? Stay tuned for the next entry, where I will share my top tips for finding silence in the midst of chaos.
If you are interested in learning more about Ayurveda, yoga’s sister science, and how it can improve your well-being and lead to a feeling of wholeness, please visit my site at www.wellnesstranscended.com or email at [email protected].
