As a Mom of two GIRLS we have our momens of HIGH emotion responses and struggles for my daughters to get along! Though we don’t experince the wrestling, punching, hitting aggresive behavior, we still endure the loud shrieks, crys, hair pulling and the occasional sitting on your sister reactions in this house. My girls are 22 months apart and although they love playing together and sharing bunk beds, they still have their moments as most siblings do!
Gigi my social butterfly is 5 and is a natural born leader. She makes instant friends and automatically feels the need bring order to any situation. She has a large personality, a very strong will but a beautiful humongous heartl! Bri my little lover is 3 and a natural born nurturer. She is shy and quiet prefers smaller group settings and is perfectly fine playing by herself. Although she is a quiet little mouse she doesn’t let her big sis push her around. She is stronger and more aggresive and doesn’t like it when things don’t go her way!
As you can see things don’t always go smoothly during play time in our cozy abode!
While hoping to teach cooroportaion, team playing and putting others first, I also like to reward the GREAT behavior when I see them doing an act of kindness or first time obedience.
I don’t know about you but I have tried my share of charts! When Gigi was little we needed a visual chart since the one verbal warning wasn’t working. My Mother in law is a first grade teacher and she told us about the stoplight! Start on green, one warning move to yellow, and then next move is consequece. It worked for a little bit but she grew tired of her “red lights” and I felt like I was ALWAYS harping on her with consequences.
Next we tried the chalkboard check marks. Every good deed, “yes ma’am” and doing things without being told earned a check mark. Every complaint, fit thrown, and refusal to obey the first time got a check mark erased. The goal was to get to 10 and recieve a special treat… or special time out with Mom or Dad! This was going great for the girls but their reward seemed so far away and unattainable. By the time they got 10 2 weeks had gone by and they wouldn’t even remember why they were being rewarded.
SO! I needed a chart that THEY could control themselves. Accepting their consequence and moving their “pawn” understanding the poor choice they made. I also needed a chart that gave them hope, one where they could see their “reward” and track their own progress… see a goal and know it was attainable. I also wanted this chart to focus around encouragment and grace but also have a place for consequenses if need be!
My Mom nannies for a dear friend who uses a certain chart with her kids and seems to be the only thing that helps them! I asked my Mom to explain it to me and she did the next best thing… she made us one for Christmas!! So far it is working great! The girls are more encouraged to say “yes Mom” the FIRST time I ask them to do something. They also have memorized the encouraging words on the chart and even know if we ask them clip their clothes pin down which block is next. They know that they get to start over on “Ready, set, go” every morning and if they work their way to the top “Awesome” they only need to do one more thing in order to clip off and recieve their reward!
I can’t say this will work for everyone but if you are in a rut and feel like you have tried everything, why not give it a shot! It has been a blessing in our home!
Picture credit of my crazy kids to Scott Williams.
Thank you Brittany McDowell for the fabulous idea and design. And thank you to Lori Evans “Nana” for crafting this for us!
what a neat idea! Many schools I know are using the “clip up, clip down” technique too.