When I see those moms who have more than two kids and are really rocking it, I find myself in awe. I just don’t think I could do it. I always knew that I wanted more than one baby, but it wasn’t until after having our second boy, that we knew our family was complete, no second thoughts about it.
There are numerous reasons why we wanted to be a family of four, and “only” four. After talking to my husband, five reasons really stuck out as to why we are done having babies and loving our life as a family of four.
We don’t want to be outnumbered
This is our go-to answer when we are asked if we are going to have more kids. Having three babies seems so overwhelming for us. I like the idea that I can be responsible for one child and my husband can have the other. He has the hands to put one kid in the car, as I am doing the same with our other son. There is balance to our family of four.
Having babies in pairs
Now, this is for sure my thing. I, myself, am a middle child and clearly understand its drawbacks. When you have three kids, one is almost always left out, or at least in my house that was how it went. Two were always ganging up on one (usually me). That being said, if we had more than two kids we would have to have four, so that each kid has a “teammate”. That is just not for us. Maybe it’s the fact that we currently have two under three, but we cannot even fathom the idea of giving attention to one, let alone, two more children.
My pregnancies were rough
I am not great at being pregnant. With our first son I was on bed rest from 17 weeks on for preterm contractions (longest 23 weeks of my life). I was in constant fear that I would have a premature baby. With our second baby, I again started having contractions around 17 weeks and they continued until our little guy was born at 39 weeks. Let me tell you, having contractions for that long really doesn’t make for a very nice mama. I really just have no desire to do it again.
We don’t feel the need to “try for the girl”
Maybe it is just because I have two boys, but I cannot imagine adding a little lady to the mix. I honestly always thought I would have two boys. I am a boy mom. It’s funny that people always assume if you have two of one sex, that you are going to want to attempt to have the “missing” son or daughter. This isn’t the case for us, we are completely content with our dirty, rambunctious and oh so sweet boys.
Let’s face it, raising kids is expensive. According to the USDA, the average cost of raising a child in The United States is roughly $233,610, that’s a little less than $13,000 per child, per year. I understand that money shouldn’t be a deciding factor to have, or not have, more children, but it’s definitely something we have talked about. We are a dual income family who own a home and has just a little “wiggle room” in our budget. Adding another child to the mix could (or would) very well take the wiggle room away. It would be challenging for us financially and we would not be able to enjoy some of the extra things we get to do now.
So there you have it folks, our main reasons why we have made the conscious decision not to have more children. We are thankful for the two healthy little guys we have, and couldn’t feel more blessed that they chose us to be their parents. No matter what your family looks like, I am a firm believer that you know what is right for you and your family. What are your reason for expanding your family, or stopping where you are?
Photo by Jocelyn Collins Photography