What I Really Want My Son’s Future Spouse to Know

To my son’s future spouse,

We haven’t met prior to me writing this letter, but there are some things I think we need to discuss. As a mom to two indescribable boys, there has been a lot I’ve thought about when it comes to my boys and their future spouses. They’re still not even in preschool yet, but thinking about their future is a constant. Here are some of the most important things that I want you to know…

I want you to know that I have always tried to raise my sons with the thought that they will be someone’s husband some day. My husband takes the boys with him while grocery shopping to pick out flowers for me to demonstrate romance, while I remind the boys of how thoughtful and how happy that makes me. 

I want you to know that I will honor him putting you first. When he marries you, YOU should be first in his life. My husband has been excellent with this since we were married, and it’s something I promised myself I would instill in my sons so you would feel the support I do from their dad. 

I want you to know I understand if you choose your family functions before his. Of course I would want him to be at as many of our family traditions and holidays as possible, but I want you to have your own traditions. I would never want you to feel like you have to give those up because of us. 

I want you to know I want to spend time with you. I promise to never stop being involved in your lives, but I will try my best to be understanding if we go quite some time without seeing each other. 

I want you to know I am raising my boys to respect people, especially women. You let me know if you see otherwise…that’s all I’ll say about that. 

I want you to know I am thankful for you. I have been thinking about and praying for someone who will make my son happier than anything. The happiness I’m sure he has when he is with you makes me more happy than I can explain. 

I want you to know that my door is always open and we are always here for you both. Whether it be finances or dinner because you didn’t feel like cooking, please don’t hesitate to ask for our help when you need it. I promise to always do our best to help however we can. 

I want you to know that I promise I will take you in as a new member of our family. I love you, even though I have no clue who you are. Please, if you remember anything at all about what I’m saying in this letter, remember this: these boys hold more love in my heart than I can explain. When you have a child someday, you’ll see this love too. I would give literally everything for my boys. Please, try with all you have to love them as deeply as I do. 

Mamas of boys, is there something you’d like your son’s future spouse to know?