While volunteering at the 1st grade Christmas party not too long in the distance past, I was chatting with a few moms when this flew out of my mouth:
Why did I try so hard when they won’t even remember their lives before age 6?”
This all stemmed from us talking about an upcoming family vacation, a trip I definitely want them to remember. I will take photos, but I’m sick of taking a million photos and all of the momming so hard. I’d like the memories to be authentically theirs (and not so much stress and work on my end).
It all started the first year of their lives with their first birthday … every detail had to be just right. I killed myself to have cupcakes with Sesame Street characters on them. My mom painted buckets with the characters on them (my mom is an amazing artist). I decorated the house “over the top”, photographed everything from beginning to end, and in general, acted like this was going to be their ONLY birthday ever!
I wanted all their “firsts” to be AMAZING!! We went to Disney when they were almost 4… a trip they probably won’t remember.
Why am I planning all these outings, trips, etc that they won’t remember???
Naturally, I’m a planner. I like planning social events, trips and general fun times. But, looking back, my girls would have been just as happy to go to a park, take a walk, ride tricycles or just hang out.
I feel like the first 6 years of our children’s lives, we were waiting until they were old enough for us to take the trip, go to Disney, join a soccer team or take piano lessons. Whatever the activity, we were constantly looking forward. Why not think about the right now? What will help fill my children’s hearts and my heart all at the same time?
It’s the simple stuff that creates the moments. Sometimes even just driving in the car, one of my girls will tell me something that is so special, just on a casual ride home from the grocery store.
By no means am I saying I should have loved them less, but I am saying that momming so hard all the time doesn’t necessarily encapsulate the rewards I may have thought it did. I believe in loving energy and the idea that my girls know they are loved and appreciated. Also, spreading tons of gratitude around. I recently watched THIS VIDEO and it confirmed the fact that as long as we are grateful and loving, our kids will be just as happy with small birthday parties, swimming at home and heading to our local park as they would be with all the grandiose stuff I was planning.
What about you? Do you find yourself momming too hard?