Mom Guilt: It Happens to Us All

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A few days ago, I stumbled across an Instagram post in my explorer feed. The post was shared by actress Jenny Mollen, who stated that she accidentally dropped her young son on his head and landed him in the ICU. The happy news is that her son is recovering well and is back home. I found it brave and fearless that she shared such a vulnerable thing and I appreciate Mollen for it. A lot of parents stepped in, commenting that they’ve had similar scary experiences with their children. There were several supportive comments, but I was disheartened to see some of the comments that bash her and question Mollen’s intentions as a mother, going as far to use words such as “abusive.” Majority of comments showed support and empathy, along with the word “mom guilt.” I want to bring light to this because I know a lot of us have been there as parents. We have all experienced mom guilt. 

PSA: We are only humans. Do we strive to be superheroes as parents? Absolutely. We always wake up each morning and make sure our children are provided for and loved. We show up every day because we love our children with undeniable, incomprehensible love. We take pride in our children and work hard to keep them safe and happy every single day. If I could just wrap my children up in bubble wrap to protect them, I would. Of course I am kidding, but I am sure all of us have thought that at some point since becoming parents. 

To this day I can still vividly remember one of the more traumatic moments I’ve experienced as a parent. My twin boys were around seven months, and both were screaming and crying because they were ready for their afternoon bottles. I got flustered and immediately scooped up my sweet boy, Liam, who was the most upset. I tried to multi-task and cuddle him while making their bottles. That’s when I made a big mistake, a misjudgment in parenting. I set Liam on the countertop and literally two seconds is all it took for me to watch my little baby fall forward off of the counter. I cringe writing that, but Mollen inspired me to share my story. Two seconds of misjudgment. Luckily, he cried immediately, which is a great sign. A wave of guilt instantly hit. I had an awful pain appear in the pit of my stomach. Without hesitation I was loading both babies up to go to the closest hospital. Liam was perfectly fine. There were zero signs of issues and we got discharged after a few hours of observation.

That mom guilt. We have all been there. I still remember that moment with vivid memory because I could not stop replaying that awful two seconds for weeks after it happened. I was ashamed to share it with anyone but my husband and mom because of fear of judgment. Looking back, why was I ashamed? Like Mollen, like myself, we all are doing our best. So I ask you, mama, to make sure you go easy on yourself. These high expectations we tend to set for ourselves, especially as parents, place a lot of pressure on us. No matter how hard we try to protect our children, they will eventually get hurt. Kids are notorious for falling or running into things because they are so active. Sometimes, I find that their pain hurts me more and I always find a reason why it was my fault. My son ran into the corner of the kitchen table a few weeks ago and I immediately thought, “I should have moved the table further towards the wall.” It takes mindfulness to wash away these thoughts. I am working on being more mindful.

Moral of the story: mama, you are amazing. You are doing your best. We are all in this motherhood world together, and we need to support one another. Know that you are never alone and we have all been there before. Never be afraid to reach out to a fellow mama. Keep doing amazing things – our kids are so lucky!

XOXO,

Bri

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Brianna is a 20-something stay-at-home mama to twin boys, Liam and Noah, and a crazy yellow lab, Zoey. She is married to her high school sweetheart, Spencer. Although a piece of her heart will always lie within her Midwestern roots, her family currently resides in sunny (and prickly) Phoenix. Prior to spending her days in leggings and messy buns, she was a high school English teacher to some pretty awesome kiddos. Staying at home with her boys is one of her favorite seasons in life thus far and she is excited to share it with you! Aside from being a stay-at-home mama her passions include hiking, indulging in anything that contains chocolate, reading a good book, photography, interior design and organizing, drinking hot coffee with cream, and brunching. Sit back and relax, enjoy reading her triumphs mixed with the best days of motherhood. We are a tribe as moms and this is motherhood uncensored.

2 COMMENTS

  1. such a good article Bri! I skimmed and then saw the word twin and looked at the author and noticed it was you! love your story and your writing. keep it up! xox

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