As I was sitting with my niece enjoying some frozen yogurt, I realized how independent this little girl is getting. Earlier in the evening, before we went out for our frozen treat, we painted toe nails where she had to open the lid by herself, we went to the park where she had to put her shoes on by herself, and when she wanted some water she had to open the bottle all by herself. I was amazed by all the “I do’s” I got from her. She literally wants to do everything by herself. It was adorable watching her concentrate so hard on doing all these things. I realized how early independence starts for kids.
With that being said, there was also a point that evening where I didn’t find it so adorable, and my lack of patience took charge. We had just finished bath time and Mya insisted on putting her underwear on herself. She tried hard for about 5 minutes, and just couldn’t seem to get the underwear turned the right way where both her legs would go in correctly. After about the tenth time I started getting impatient, and I tenderly took them from Mya and said “Auntie Help”. I put them in the right position for her to just slip her legs right into. Instead of slipping her legs into them she started compulsively kicking her legs in every direction and had a complete melt down. All I heard for the next 5 minutes in between her sobbing was “I do it”. I know some of you know exactly what I am talking about.
I think it’s a good idea to try and recognize which situations make us lose our patience. For me, I notice that I can be more impatient when I am in a hurry to get somewhere. A few ways that help me with this situation are:
- I give myself and extra 15 minutes to pack things up before I need to leave instead of doing it 5 minutes before I need to leave.
- I pack up the night before. For some of you this might be helpful, since your child is in bed, or your spouse/significant other/ or partner can be home and help watch your child while you do this.
This is just one example of mine, however; I know there are times out there for all of us when having to wait seems unbearable. When driving behind that elderly lady that can barely see over the wheel driving 25 mph in a 45 makes you want to rip your hair out or waiting in line at the grocery store for someone to write a check verses swiping their card quickly. We are going to have these days every now and then and that’s okay.
I think if we can recognize which situations can cause us to lose our patience we can find ways to try and avoid it. This way whether you are with your kids, spouse/partner, you can enjoy every moment. I know for me personally, I always look back afterwards and wish I would have handled it differently. I found this saying by www.dumelan.co.za/thoughts encouraging, “Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” I have added it to my refrigerator collections of encouraging things so I can be reminded of them daily.
Thanks for the reminder Angela! As I was rushing out the door this morning, maybe I should have packed my stuff last night! 🙂
Next Time! Just little helpful tips sometimes make a big change.
This is a my constant struggle and personal prayer. I find I am most impatient when I want the girls to adhere to my schedule while forgetting their age and their ability to only focus on one thing at a time (never mind their lovely creative and very easily distractable minds!). Yes, and their independence – I am often pulling myself back and realizing that five more minutes to be patient and gentle with them is so much more important then arriving 15 min early or even on time as I was planning. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and wisdom Ang.
Thanks Kristin, I know this will be a constant struggle for me too when the time comes. 🙂 I agree that the most important thing is showing them gentleness and patience verses rushing them and being short.
Great quote at the end! I was reading 1.2.3 Magic because my son is a sweetheart, but also a handful! It mentioned that when we, as adults, become impatient and begin yelling at our children, rushing them, spanking them before trying timeout, etc, then we are actually no different than them. We are just throwing adult tantrums. It makes me think before I act now, every time I am in a hurry or need to discipline my son.