How to Rock Your Long-Distance Friendships


Long distance relationships do not work. You gave it the ol’ college try, but you should just break up. We have all heard it, but what happens when said long distance relationship is with your one and only, your ride or die, your very best friend. Let’s face it, as we get older, friendships take more work. We are all busier, have more responsibilities and suddenly you don’t seem to have much extra time for yourself, let alone anyone else.

My best friend has been my best friend going on 20 years (eek!).  She is the kind of friend that has seen me at both my best and worst, and vice versa—like that time in college when she threw up on my feet.  The kind of friend that can come into my home and help herself to whatever she wants.  Her parents are my parents, her kids call me Aunt, we call our children cousins.  The kind of friend that I don’t know what I would do without. A friend that isn’t a friend at all, but family.  Needless to say, when she told me she was moving to another state I was beyond devastated.  My first son was turning 1 and I still had no idea what I was doing.  How was I going to survive motherhood (or life) without her?!

Then it occurred to me: if we have survived 20 years of friendship, including the confusing and tortuous time that is puberty + college, 1000 miles or so was not going to break us! Three years later, she is still my best friend, but it does take effort.

How to rock your long-distance friendship:

  • FaceTIme: I am not sure what we would do without it! Since the move we have both had second children and I feel like I know that little guy just as well as I know the little niece I saw come into this world. We get the chance to see each other and feed off each other’s energy without being in the same physical space.
  • Occasional surprises: Whether it is a birthday, Christmas or just a random Tuesday, we sometimes send each other little gifts or card. Little reminders that we haven’t stopped trying.
  • Anytime text: No matter the time of day/night or subject matter, I know she is always available to me for a question, joke, vent or just a quick “hello…I miss you.”  She will never judge me and always be honest. We remind each other that we are killing this mom life and aren’t at it alone.
  • Visits: although I haven’t been able to make it out there yet, I live for her visits home. I love that we always pick up right where we left off, and so do the kiddos. Her family always welcomes us with open arms, and it feels like nothing has changed since we were kids. 
  • Don’t try and replace each other: Yes, it’s true, we have an open relationship and dare I say…other friends. But no one can replace or replicate what we have. The history alone, no one can compete with. Other friends are good to have, but this relationship has roots.

There is always the hope that she will move back someday, and I am confident that she will.  Until then we will continue to be there for each other from afar in the best ways we can. I hope she knows, and I think she does, how much she means to me. We are doing this life together lady…it’s been long enough, and I believe it’s safe to say…you are stuck with me. 


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