Before I had children and thought of being a mother, I had all sorts of warm and fuzzy feelings about how I was going to parent my children. Most of those daydreams were filled with love, nurturing, tender affection, mercy, gentleness, kindness, etc. I thought that I would teach my children through MY good example.
What I have actually found, is that my children teach me on a daily basis just as much as I teach them! This has been a hard thing to embrace. I like the feeling that I am the adult (all-knowing…LOL!) and they are the child who does the things I tell them to. Life is much easier that way!
One of the biggest things I have learned is letting go of what I want them to be like, and letting them decide who they want to be. This happens in small, unnoticeable ways every day. My daughter Ellie would wear a dress EVERY.SINGLE.DAY in an ideal world. Well, I have bought her a ton of clothes, and not all of them are dresses, so naturally this can be a bit irritating when I think of all those clothes (and money) going to waste! However, when she puts on a dress, it really does make her feel so special! She twirls around, gets a huge smile on her face, and does a little curtsy. It gives her a boost of confidence and I don’t want to take that from her by pushing what I’d like her to wear on her. This may seem a bit silly, but when I put myself in her shoes, it puts it into perspective for me.
If someone was was constantly telling me what I should wear for the day or how to do my hair, I don’t think I’d like it much either. When I go shopping I look for the thing that gives me that boost of confidence, and when I look in the mirror, I want to feel pleased with the outcome. Just because Ellie is three doesn’t mean that she doesn’t identify with that same feeling (our kids are smarter than we realize!).
I kept running into this issue and didn’t want to have any more daily struggles with this. My solution was to go to Goodwill and buy her a TON of dresses. I was tired of seeing her in the same ones every day, and I was happy to give her that “little” thing that made her feel that much more special!
As moms we have to pick our battles. I hope that my battles will be issues of the heart and not superficial ones. I am learning how to recognize which are which daily.
Can any of you relate to this? What are some daily “struggles” you have that you can let go of?
Can’t wait to hear from you!
