One of my good mom friends and I got to talking about the challenges that parenting can present. We moms are often caught with the feeling that our cups are overflowing, and we are giving all aspects of life as much effort as possible. Finding balance in all of these aspects is where the difficulty presents itself. We have two hands, but it feels like God should’ve given us eighty. Actually, should it just be a requirement that each time we bring a blessing into this world we grow another two arms along with giving birth? All jokes aside, this mom thing is tough and sometimes we are just in survival mode. This mom thing can bring you to your brink when you feel like you have no more to give. It is worth it, or else we wouldn’t be giving it our all, day in and day out. I look at my two-year-old boys and not a day goes by that I am not grateful to be in the position I am in.
So what happens when we reach our breaking point or feel beyond stretched thin? We consider therapy or working out or other stress relieving outlets, but often wonder when we are going to fit it into our already jam-packed schedule. Anything that helps us mamas stay balanced and provides self-care is worth making time for. My mom friend mentioned that she took a life coaching program with an amazing coach (link and information at the end of this post) and it was life changing. The impact it has had on her life is invaluable, and I found it amazing to hear how great it has been for her. I decided to interview her to learn more about life coaching because it is something I think all moms should consider, especially when exhaustion and loss of identity/past self starts to take its toll. Below is the discussion that I had with this amazing mom friend of mine in regards to the benefits of life coaching:
What is life coaching and what does the process entail?
I was introduced to a “Mom Coach” through Modern Milk. A Mom Coach can help you to find a new perspective on what balance feels like during your season of motherhood. That might include overcoming guilt, finding peace with your inner self, and creating boundaries or expressing your own needs. The coach I worked with provided 1:1 meetings over FaceTime for 12 sessions. After each session, she followed up with an email that recapped goals we talked about as well as provided me with journal prompts, podcasts, and book recommendations that she felt would help guide me as we worked together.
What are some of the benefits in working with a life coach?
There were so many benefits when working with a Mom Coach. As a working mom, I was struggling with the guilt of not being at home with my twin girls, yet felt isolated when I was home. I felt overwhelmed in many areas of life as I started a new job, we moved into a new home, all while trying to be a good wife, friend and colleague. I felt that my coach validated my feelings and helped me to overcome obstacles that I was dealing with at home and at work.
What does a typical session look like/roughly how long?
The first session was 1.5 hours in which we were able to get to know one another and talk through each area of life to see where I needed support and guidance the most. In the beginning, sessions were one hour once a week. After a month, we met every other week for one hour sessions. My coach provided extra sessions or “refresh sessions” if I felt like I needed any support after our coaching ended.
What can someone considering life coaching expect/how can they prepare and get in the right mindset?
The major thing when considering a coach is knowing you are ready for change. Prior to starting my coaching sessions, I felt lost and I rarely did anything for myself and felt anxious more than usual. I felt disorganized and unhappy. I knew it was time to seek help to find that joy I once had. Be prepared to dig deep into your feelings. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and honest throughout the process. Be open to suggestions, try new things that may scare you, listen to your inner self because you know what truly brings you joy.
Would you consider life coaching something that a person should revisit overtime? In other words, would you recommend multiple sessions throughout life?
Absolutely. I think throughout every season of life is a good time to check in. Our life is always changing, busy and challenging at times. The coach I worked with offered refresh sessions whenever they might be needed. A tune up can provide you with the support and redirection to keep you on track!
What were some of your main takeaways from life coaching?
If I had to choose just one takeaway, it would be how to maintain self-care. I have always been a people pleaser and now that I am a mother of twins, it is impossible to make everyone happy including myself at all times. I learned how important self-care is and why moms need this time. After providing myself with the care I was needing, I felt I could be more present with my family. You have to put in the work in order to find what your struggles may be, but once you pin point those areas it opens up so many opportunities to find a well-balanced life. Self-care can be as simple as allowing yourself to sit down and meditate every day, journaling, enjoying your favorite activity, or working out. My coach helped me find what worked best for me and gave me suggestions that fit my personality and lifestyle.
Was there anything throughout your life coaching experience that really stuck with you/an epiphany or life realization?
After finishing my sessions with a Mom Coach, I felt like I had a new perspective on life. I felt like it was the jumpstart to a new, fulfilling chapter in my life as a mother. I truly feel I was missing out on the joy I hoped for due to feeling anxious and from the self-doubt I was experiencing. Realizing that by taking the time to listen to yourself, what your interests are and what brings you happiness, is something that may constantly change. I learned to really think about how things and relationships make me feel and to say no to things that no longer serve me. This allowed me to open the door to new hobbies that I enjoy and to open up to a tribe of women who lift me up.
Any additional information or advice?
I feel like every new mom has similar struggles. Just know that you are not alone and that there are so many amazing people who want you to succeed at this new season of life. It is so normal to feel stressed, unbalanced and downright sad at times. Motherhood can be so isolating; finding a tribe who understands what you are going through without judgment was a key to success. My coach helped me to find the new version of myself and provided me with the support and guidance I needed when the timing was right. The realizations she helped me find will forever lay the foundation for the path of self-care and self-love. I could not recommend it enough!
All of us mamas are deserving of not just self-care, but also self-love. My amazing friend took the leap of faith and put valuable time into working with a life coach. The value she got out of it is immeasurable and inspirational. She inspired me to take the life coaching journey, and I encourage you to consider it as well! Keep calm, you’ve always got this mama.
Life Coaching information: Kelly’s Website, featuring a blog post on the value in hiring a mom coach https://www.mamaste.io/blog/should-i-hire-a-mom-coach