Please, Do Not Raise Your Boys to be Jerks


Recently a co-worker, who is single and child-free, said something to me after she had been dealing with a particularly difficult patient. “Please don’t raise your sons to be jerks.”  I suppose I could have been offended, but if you know me at all, you know that wasn’t the case.   The statement really got me thinking. How does that happen? I assume everyone was a sweet child at one point or another, yet there are some real jerks out there.  Are there people that are predisposed to come off as harsh and unkind, or is it something their parents did do mold them? 

Boys Don't be Jerks

As much as I hate to admit it, I am a millennial, as is my husband.  That being said, how is a generation of people who feel entitled and are narcissistic supposed to raise children who aren’t complete jerks?   The majority of us grew up hearing “treat other as you would want to be treated” … the golden rule.  I believe this is something I have carried into adulthood, at least most of the time and am determined to instill the same values into my children. 

My boys are still little, so I can’t really have the “please don’t be a jerk” conversation with them yet.  I thought maybe a little letter would be appropriate.  Maybe someday they will read it, maybe they won’t, but I feel like putting the intentions out there can’t hurt. 

Dear Boys,

I vow to you to always be your mom.  I will always be the one that you can turn to without fear of judgment or criticism.  I vow to always be positive and caring and a source of light in your lives. 

In return, I am going to need you to be well adjusted adults, when the time comes.  Dad and I will do everything we can to make this happen.  But you have a job too.  Remember to be kind and caring and be respectful to others.  Know that you are not entitled to anything, earning what you have tastes so much sweeter.

Even at the tender ages of 2 and under 1, I know you both have sweet souls.  The world can be hash boys and we can’t protect you from it all, as much I wish we could.  Don’t let life jade you, there are really beautiful things in this world, you just have to find them. Above all, don’t be a jerk.

Enough of this sappy stuff, let’s bust out those Legos and build all the trucks. 

Love you to the moon and back.

Always and forever,



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