I do not have a guest room, and I do not stay in guest rooms.
This is bound to cause controversy and I’m assuming it may also bring out my fellow closeted non-guest room loving comrades, as well.
Yes, you read it right, I don’t have a guest room. I also don’t believe in them. I don’t stay in others guest rooms (this includes family, too). I hate guest rooms. I’m not trying to be a jerk, and I’d love for you to visit. But, I want you to stay in a hotel. And when I come to visit you, I will also be staying in a hotel.
I’m probably not starting my first post here off on the right foot. You love that Ina Garten has a perfect guest room with freshly baked cookies on the nightstand, along with her guest’s favorite flowers. Awesome sauce. I love to be the hostess too. I love having dinner parties and treating my guests like royalty. I always try to send them home with delicious baked goods too. I just also believe in personal space.
There are two people in this world that I am used to spending 24/7 with, and those two are my husband and daughter. I love having visitors come into town, but I can’t be with you all day, every day of your visit. I need a little time with my two people in the morning and in the evenings. I feel that morning and evening barrier makes for a great visit. It gives both guest and host a chance to unwind and take a break.
I want to grab my morning coffee. Chase my daughter around. Get her dressed. Hangout with my hubby. Get myself dressed. Then come get you to tackle a fantastic day together. At the end of the day, I want to come back home and play with my daughter. Watch a little TV with the hubs. Do our little nighttime rituals and go to bed. It’s breathing room. It’s healthy personal space.
I do not want to sit in my room, afraid to come out and wake someone because I’m hungry (true story happened). Or lie in bed bored because I’m on another time zone and there is no TV in the room I’m staying in. Or sleep on a lumpy uncomfortable mattress. Or leave with everything I own covered in a layer of your cat’s hair. Or find that you are sitting outside my bedroom door waiting for me to wake up (also happened – let’s just call these all true stories and move on).
So, don’t be upset when you announce you are coming to town and I don’t invite you to stay at my house. I will gladly send you some great hotel recommendations. And please don’t be upset when you suggest I stay at your house and I politely decline.
My grandfather always used to say that house guests and fish start to smell after two days. Actually he said three days, but I think it takes less time. I want to enjoy your visit and not be counting the days until you leave, or the days until I leave. (Yes, I have stayed in guest rooms before and that’s why I’m saying no to them from here on out.)
Plus, as I do my morning dash sans clothes to the dryer to fetch clean underwear, do you really want to walk in on that?
If you want to join my anti guest room club, please Instagram me @croissantitc
Your grandfather was quoting Ben Franklin who said guests and fish stink in 3 days. True in the 1700s, true now.
We have our first guest room. In the past people have stayed on our pull out couch in the living room and used our 1 bathroom. No one ever stayed longer than 2-3 days. Now that we have a guest room and 2nd bathroom, family are staying 1-2 weeks when they visit. My day 4 I tend to become rude…every man for himself to make breakfast, I go to bed at my early bird hour and get up and don’t worry about waking anyone.
When I was a child we lived in TX and my grandparents in Ohio. It was a two day drive and airfare was too expensive back then for family. We always stayed a week every trip and loved it. We played with cousins we only saw there, my mom got a break from caring for everyone and we all loved it. This is why guest rooms developed for us. It was about playing card games late, eatching movies from blockbuster, visiting local libraries, seeing sites, and no TV unless you wanted to watch racecars.
Today, I realize that airfare is affordable, there is airbnb, there are differences.
We don’t have a guest room but move all the kids to same room for guests. We know our family and friends don’t have a higher than average income that allows for multiple hotel room visits and just want to see them more. I am pretty sure many average people would love to pay for multiple nights in a hotel for a visit after a 6hr drive but it is financially difficult for them.
All. Of. This. Nothing wrong with it and we are not bad people for it! To each their own, if you like having a room sitting around waiting for someone to stay in it then good for you. If you like to use your home for yourself and the people living in it everyday (??♀️) then good for you. I need my personal space, routines, and escape from constant visiting and that is 100% okay. It is healthy to know your limits and makes for a much better visit with people you enjoy.
I am really curious about this because it means you don’t have to clean every part of a home before relatives arrive which is less stressful. How do/would you manage long distance relatives who are poorer than you who are willing to try to keep in touch more than facetime but can’t afford hotel fees?
Even when I visit my childhood home….. I would rather stay in a hotel. I have limited time, things I want to do, and people I want to see. I don’t want to be on someone else’s schedule and I don’t want to eat meals at home. I want to be it and about in this city I grew up in. So even though I have a guest room…. I agree with you.
YES … exactly my thinking …. we also don’t have a guest room in our smallish home. We have a lot of pets – some of them elderly and having people stay over night means … my kids have to share a room – which neither one of them likes as they are of opposite gender, my old dog gets upset and starts peeing in the house, my cat hides for a few days and I feel like I have to do some major cleaning before the guests arrive, offer food and play host 24 hours a day. At the very minimum I have to wash bedding, clean bathrooms and get my kids to make one of their rooms habitable for guests … Lately I had a friend ask me if she and her 3 children – between ages 3 and 11 can stay here … and I declined. I also don’t stay at friend’s houses for the same reason … I want my friends to enjoy the time with me. I do not want to add to their chores like cleaning bathrooms and doing extra laundry and I enjoy a bit of privacy with my now family at night. The extra expense for a hotel room is well worth the extra relaxation I will get out of that stay … I have often offered friends and family to pay for their hotel rooms or at least help with the cost … everyone is much happier
OMG..so very true and to the point Rachel. I have just converted my old guest room into a dressing room and mostly because all you have said is true. I’ve had several guests over the years and now I’m about to turn 70, enough is enough.
Never again, load phone calls just outside my bedroom, questions on where is my breakfast, lunch or dinner. Some thought one bottle of wine brought as a gift meant you could drink 4 of mine!
And lastly, one guest stayed with me 10 plus time and when they knew I was coming to town, no thought to ask if I would like to stay, although I have a policy like yours of wanting my own space..just would have been nice to be asked!
I LOVE THIS. We don’t have a guest room either. Beyond the fact that it’s basically a room only meant to be used if someone comes to visit, having out of town visitors stay WITH you means you are always “on” and with relatives, it just means you end up hating them by the end, either overtly or bubbling under the surface. Folks who have ADUs are quite lucky, but we also found that there are Airbnbs in our neighborhood which is the perfect solution in our opinion – a comfy place to stay with a kitchen (rather than a motel) and just a block or two from our house so guests can have their own space (and walk around nekkid themselves as well) and then swing by and join us for brekkie or what not. We have 3 bedrooms and converted one of our rooms into a full pantry (upright freezer as well!) and the other into a workout room – awesome!