Why the Birth of my Son was the Death of Me

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I never expected to be the kind of mom I turned out to be. In fact, I never really dreamed of being a mom at all. I had my career and I loved it (I still do).  I always assumed when my husband and I had kids that life would largely remain the same. Boy, was I wrong, and it all started with my own little boy.

My son came into the world just under a month early, after my water broke at unexpectedly at 3:00 a.m. My husband and I were so ill prepared. Still in the throes of birthing classes, and weeks until we expected our little guy to arrive, we had no hospital bag packed. I was in shock as we drove to the hospital. But the doctors confirmed one thing when we arrived in the wee hours of August 23, 2007 … we were going home with a baby. I was about to be a mom. Whoa.

A scary, joyous 19 hours later, I locked eyes with my son. His birth was not typical. Through the labor, we experienced scares and ultimately his arrival came via emergency delivery. Then, there he was. And it was like he had always existed in my heart.

Everything else melted away. Nothing else was, nor would ever be as important as this little miracle (and later, his sweet sister). And I would never be the same again. With the birth of my son, a part of me died that day. A part that I don’t miss, and I don’t think I ever will. Because I realized that day what my true calling in life was (and is). I was reborn, as a mother. That was the divine plan all along. Who knew?

I embraced motherhood immediately and became the kind of mother I’d never thought I’d be. I spent priceless time in a rocking chair cuddling my son and sniffing in his intoxicating newborn smell. I traded long days at the office for library story time, wagon walks and blowing bubbles for hours on end. Watching my baby boy giggling with joy as the bubbles popped gave me new perspective on finding happiness in simplicity. Though I continue to wear many hats, my mom hat is by far my favorite and the one that comes most naturally to me. And I think its natural, and totally okay, to change once we become mothers. After all, it’s the best change that’s ever happened to me.

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Molly, a professional writer and editor with 20 years of experience, has been obsessed with the written word since she learned to hold a pen. From interviewing longtime U.S. Senator John McCain to eating lavish eight-course meals in the name of research, she covers topics across the board and tackles each one with passion and enthusiasm (especially the food-related ones!)  Molly and her husband of 15 years have two children, Jimmy and Saylor. Together they cook, eat, travel, play and try to make the most of every single day. While teetering between being relentlessly exhausted and tirelessly energetic, Molly's life motto is "lead with love." Follow her on Instagram (@azgypsymama) for food and travel pics, plus random quotes that range from inspirational to the occasional whiskey-fueled enlightenment.

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