So, you’re here. Reading this blurb about addiction and recovery and the 1000 foot view. Addiction in the 21st. Addiction in the time of a pandemic. Addiction as a mother/wife/friend/woman. I will give you a short brief about who I am, and what I know about addiction, and what I want to share with you during this series.
Who am I? I am a mom of 2 boys. I started using when I was 13 and stopped when I was 31. I have had a love/hate relationship with drugs, alcohol, family and friends. During the “use” years I lost friends, family, self worth. And during the “non-use” years I gained self respect, self love, logic, friends and family.
In order to get clean, I needed to make some BIG changes. I had to change my playground, my play things, and my play mates. I had to remove myself from the comfort of my home and friends and place myself into a completely different city. Of course it would be easy to find a connection here, but this time I wasn’t getting clean for my family or my son, I was doing it for me. Finally after years of struggling to maintain my sobriety, I realized the trick. I had to want to get clean. I had to need it. THAT was the hardest part.
I signed over custody of my son (11 at the time) to his father, packed my rental car and drove cross country to Tennessee to rebuild my life. I met lifelong friends, learned how to adjust to this new part of the country and I learned how to be forgiving. During my time here, I opened up my case of problems and dumped them out. I then sorted them by importance:
- What was important in that moment
- What were my long term goals? Short term goals?
- Where did I see myself in one year? Two years? Five years?
- What are my triggers?
In that moment, for me, the most important thing was to right the wrongs in my life. To forgive those that had hurt me, create healthy boundaries, and hold myself accountable. A lot of self discovery and three years later, I finally had a place of my own, with my own things that were new to me, and a sense of self. But the road to get here was muddy, chaotic, and hard.
In this series, I want to talk about setting expectations, boundaries, and healthy keystones for a solid recovery. It won’t be pretty, and you may struggle with what I talk about, but the reality of sobriety is talking about difficult things and coming out the other side with a few bumps and bruises, but so much clearer in your thought process. We will learn about addiction and recovery in the 21st century and how to heal from past triggers.
In the meantime, take five minutes, write down what your triggers are. Write down what’s important in this moment, your long term and short term goals, and where you see yourself in the next year. I will do my best to support you, raise you up and help in your recovery.
You are loved. You are needed. You are wanted. You are important.
With love and respect,
Alle….your sister in recovery.
Please check out these articles to help with identifying your emotional triggers.
Thank you for sharing. Good luck on your journey.
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing your journey. I know you will be helping so many people be sharing your journey.